How and When to Talk to Kids About Sensitive Historical Events.
It takes a mixture of gut feeling and empathy to approach children with sensitive news.
Discussing challenging points in history, like the events of 9/11, with children can feel daunting. These conversations, however, are key to nurturing empathy, resilience, and a well-rounded understanding of the world around them. At Creative Gardens, we strive to support parents as they guide their children through understanding history, even the difficult parts. This article offers insights into how and when to approach sensitive historical topics with children, with suggestions rooted in child development research.
Why It’s Important to Talk About Sensitive Historical Events
Sensitive historical topics such as 9/11 can prompt questions about fairness, justice, and resilience—questions children begin asking as early as preschool (Killen & Smetana, 2015). By discussing events like 9/11, parents and educators can foster open dialogue, helping children to understand why certain events happened, how people reacted, and what the impact has been. Research shows that children who engage in these discussions develop a more informed and resilient perspective toward social challenges, and become better equipped to approach complex feelings as they grow (Dodge, 2006).
Knowing When to Start the Conversation
When it comes to discussing events like 9/11, determining your child’s readiness is key. The timing for these conversations will vary depending on your child’s maturity, emotional development, and curiosity.
Signs your child may be ready to learn about sensitive historical topics like 9/11 include:
They Ask Questions About Tragedy or Current Events: Children who ask questions about sadness, fear, or loss in the news may be ready for a simple introduction to past events, with a focus on how people responded and showed resilience.
They Display Empathy for Others’ Experiences: Children who show an interest in understanding others’ feelings may benefit from hearing about real-life examples of people coming together to support each other during difficult times.
They Show an Interest in History or Social Issues: For children who are naturally curious about social or historical topics, gently introducing 9/11 in an age-appropriate way can help provide context for current events.
How to Approach Sensitive Topics by Age Group
The level of detail and language you use when discussing sensitive historical events should be guided by your child’s age and development level.
Ages 4-7: Emphasize Empathy and Resilience
With young children, focus on the importance of helping each other during challenging times rather than delving into specifics. When discussing an event like 9/11, frame the story in terms of people coming together to support each other.
Example: “A long time ago, something very sad happened that made people afraid. But people helped each other and took care of each other during that time. It’s a reminder that, no matter what happens, people can be kind and strong together.”
Ages 8-12: Introduce Simple Context and the Idea of Community Support
Children in this age group are beginning to understand cause and effect, so you can provide some context about what happened on 9/11 and how communities responded. Highlight the courage and unity people showed, and invite your child to ask questions.
Example: “On September 11th, 2001, some people did something that hurt many others and made a lot of people scared. But people helped each other in amazing ways, and communities came together to support one another. People showed how strong they can be when they work together, even in hard times.”
Ages 13+: Discuss Complexity, Nuance, and the Long-Term Impact
Teens can handle more complex discussions and may want to know more about why 9/11 happened and what the lasting impacts have been. Research indicates that these conversations are particularly important during adolescence, as they help young people connect history with their own views on civic responsibility (Hess & McAvoy, 2014). Encourage open-ended questions and explore how events like 9/11 affect society today.
Example: “On 9/11, an event occurred that deeply affected many lives and had a significant impact on the world. Many people lost loved ones, but it also brought people together in a powerful way. This tragedy changed how people think about safety and security. How do you think events like these affect how we treat each other or view the world?”
Practical Tips for Navigating Sensitive Historical Conversations
Listen and Follow Their Lead: Let your child express any feelings or questions they have, without rushing to provide all the answers. Sometimes children need time to process what they hear.
Use Stories of Resilience: Stories about people who acted bravely or helped others in times of crisis can make difficult topics more accessible and comforting for children.
Focus on the Helpers: Particularly with younger children, emphasizing the many ways people came together in response to tragedies like 9/11 can be reassuring.
Provide Reassurance: Some children may feel anxious when hearing about events like 9/11. Reassure them that many people are working to keep communities safe, and that part of remembering history is to help prevent similar events in the future.
Ask Open-Ended Questions: Encouraging children to share their thoughts can help them process complex feelings, while showing that you value their perspective.
The Benefits of Discussing Difficult History
Discussing events like 9/11 with children fosters a deeper understanding of empathy and resilience. According to research published in the Journal of Adolescent Research, teens who discuss social and historical events at home tend to show greater social awareness and problem-solving skills (Ballard et al., 2016). Addressing these topics openly helps children understand that while the world has faced challenges, people have also come together to heal and grow.
Conclusion
Talking to kids about sensitive historical events, including tragedies like 9/11, can be challenging, but these conversations are crucial for helping children understand the world they live in. By thoughtfully approaching these topics in an age-appropriate way, you’re helping your child develop empathy, resilience, and a sense of community. At Creative Gardens, we encourage parents to engage in these important discussions as part of nurturing an informed and compassionate generation.
References:
Barton, K. C., & Levstik, L. S. (2004). Teaching History for the Common Good. Mahwah, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates.
Ballard, P. J., Cohen, A. K., & Littenberg-Tobias, J. (2016). Action civics for promoting civic development: Main effects of program participation and differences by project characteristics. American Journal of Community Psychology, 58(3–4), 377–390.
Dodge, K. A. (2006). A social information processing model of social competence in children. Developmental Psychology, 42(4), 687–697.
Hess, D. E., & McAvoy, P. (2014). The Political Classroom: Evidence and Ethics in Democratic Education. New York: Routledge.
Killen, M., & Smetana, J. G. (2015). Morality, intentionality, and intergroup attitudes. Annual Review of Psychology, 66, 393–419.